Most conflicts start in the space between what someone did and what we think they meant. Our brains fill blanks with worst-case motives. That reflex kept our ancestors alive. Today it drains us.
"Snälltolka" breaks that loop. It's a Swedish word that means interpreting someone's actions generously. Not blind trust. Not naivety. Just choosing not to build hostile narratives without evidence.
I was writing about how good we have it. A simple reflection. Nothing more. Then the thought turned inward and landed somewhere I didn’t expect. I started questioning whether the love I give my kids also makes life harder for them. Not because love is wrong. Not because I doubt it. But because their path will never look like the one I grew up imagining.
Sometimes I wonder when it happened. When consulting stopped being about solving problems and turned into selling time. When curiosity was replaced by sales targets. When advice became product. When relationships became strategy. Somewhere along the way, the craft disappeared.
It shows everywhere. Meetings filled with talk about rates, not value. Decks that promise more than they understand. Sales cultures hiding behind words like partnership, transformation, and innovation. The reality is simpler: it is not partnership, it is expansion. One consultant earns trust, and then more arrive. Not because the customer needs them, but because the model demands it. The more consultants in the room, the better the quarter looks.
We like to think history teaches us. That every mistake leaves a mark deep enough to make us wiser next time. But I’m starting to doubt that. Watching the world today, in politics, in business, and in our own lives, I see the same pattern repeating: pride blocks learning, ideology blinds reason, and ego drives us toward collapse. This isn’t a rant. It’s an observation. Maybe even a confession. Because I see it everywhere, in leaders, in companies and in myself.